You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
