Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
