He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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