She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
