ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
