I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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