Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
