Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize