I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
