Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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