Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
