This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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