I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
