All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
