dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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