Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm like, not good at living.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
