Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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