I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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