He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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