I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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