You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.