did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
