bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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