GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
