so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
