oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
