very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
