Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
