So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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