Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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