They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I need a beard to bite.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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