is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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