I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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