So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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