I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
