I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
