I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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