we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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