I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
