sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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