I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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