Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
