OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
