It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
