just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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