he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
