He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
