Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
