So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
