You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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