I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the condom got lost in my hair
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
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Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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