we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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