i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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