You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
