The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize