you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
