sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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