you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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