He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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