This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
