I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
honey bunches of taint.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
