I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
