The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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