I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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