You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
