Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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